God Bless The Irish!
Charles Miller
Charles loves the Irish people, every year in the social dinner of the Sydney workshop, he tells us about his Irish friends.
God Bless The Irish!
Saddam
Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone
rang.
“Hallo, Mr. Hussein,” a heavily-accented voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform ye that we are officially declaring war on ye!”
“Well, Paddy,” Saddam replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”
Saddam paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Begorra!”, said Paddy. “I’ll have to ring ye back!”
Sure
enough, the next day, Paddy called again. “Mr. Hussein, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Saddam asked.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”
Saddam sighed. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.”
“Saints presarve us!” said Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to ye.”
Sure enough, Paddy rang
again the next day. “Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed
to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Harrigan’s
ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the
Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!”
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”
“BEGORRAGH!”, said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring ye back.”
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell ye that we have had to call off the war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Saddam. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” said Paddy, “we’ve all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners.”
God Bless the Irish!
By Charles Miller
